All humans are egocentric. That isn’t a bad thing, it just means that our first thoughts are from the first person perspective of ourselves and our experience. As someone who has lived in Australia my whole life, I just assume that everyone on planet earth knows what it is like here.
The internet blows this assumption clean out of the water.
Things that I think are benign and everyday are a source of wonder, fear and confusion in other parts of the world.
I asked my fans what they would like to know about Australia. The following blog post is just some of the questions I received. Spoiler: there may have to be a second post to cover them all.
Spiders and Creepy Crawlies
“Why do you have the world’s deadliest spider there?”
Australia is home to 10,000 species of spiders. You heard me. That is a lot of spiders to be looking out for.
The female red-backed spider (also known as the Australian black widow) is the second most venomous spider in the entire world. It is a hard spider to miss. Even though it is relatively small (with a body only about 1cm in length) the female has a striking red or orange marking on top of her body and an hourglass shaped marking on her underside.
The red backed spider is thought to have originated in the deserts of South Australia (where I am from) but the thing about them is that they love living near people. Probably because of the amount of insects and other creepy crawlies we attract with our debris. Their bite is pretty nasty. With an hour, without treatment, the site will become hot, painful and swollen and you will start sweating. In the cases of most bites, not enough venom is injected to cause real harm, but it is always advised to seek medical assistance with a bite. Since anti-venom was developed in the 1950’s, there have been no known fatalities due to the bite from this spider.
If you thought the red-backed spider was scary, let me introduce you to the Sydney funnel-web spider. This spider is packed with one of the most deadly venoms in the world. Unlike the red-back spider, it is the male Sydney funnel-web spider that is the venomous one.
They live only in a small region of Sydney NSW so most of us need never worry about finding one. They are much harder to spot than the red-backed spider as they can range from 1-5cm in length and a multitude of shades of black, blue-black, plum coloured and brown. The coolest thing about them is the webs they build. Like their name suggests, their webs are funnel shaped and up to 60cms deep. A perfect trap for their prey. Another interesting fact: their fangs are longer than those of the brown snake, and if they land on you, they will keep biting you till you brush them off. Tenacious little things.
Anti-venom for the Sydney funnel-web spider was developed in 1981, and prior to that there were 12 deaths attributed to it.
Why do we get to have such cool creepy crawlies? Well there are a few schools of thought on this, but you need to remember that Australia is a very unique climate, and is basically a giant island with no big carnivorous predators to really worry about. Evolution works in interesting ways, is my short answer.
The Wildlife
“What kinds of animals do you see everyday?”
Even if you live in the metropolitan area, you get to see many native animals most days. Native birds (like the magpie on the left, and ibis, kookaburras, galahs, corellas, cockatoos) are the most common, but it doesn’t take much of a drive to find wild ring tailed possums, kangaroos, emus, and different kinds of reptiles (lizards, skinks and snakes).
Although we do have feral/introduced species (such as foxes, rabbits, cats, pigs, goats and horses), brought here by the white folk who didn’t understand the impact it would have, you do get to see lots of native animals most days.
“Do people have kangaroos as pets?”
No, people do not have kangaroos as pets. It is actually against the law to just take native animals from the wild and keep them as pets in Australia. Native animals ownership is controlled with licencing to help keep track of certain animals and make sure people are not owning too many without the right level of expertise and care.
Australia is one of the countries in the world with the highest extinction rate of native animals. So although our laws are strict, it is to protect the wildlife from further danger.
Also, kangaroos look all nice and gentle and cuddly but seriously, they can be very aggressive and dangerous towards people! Not unlike many other Australian animals…
Beautiful One Day, No Fucking Idea the Next
“What is the weather like there?”
Depending on where you are in the country depends on what kind of weather you will get. We have a really diverse range of climates, including deserts, mountain ranges, tropical and Mediterranean. In the South, things are mostly cooler as we are closer to the Antarctic, whereas in the North, it gets hot and steamy as you hit the equator. The middle of the country is basically desert, hence why most of us live really close to the coast.
All this being said, we have a saying here: “Beautiful One Day, No Fucking Idea the Next.” Our climate has never liked to stick to the straight summer, autumn, winter, spring seasons. It likes to through in some crazy weather, one day sunny, the next day torrential rain, 38 degrees Celsius one day, 15 degrees the next. We are experts of the layering of clothing to try and remain comfortable and be prepared for whatever weather may come next. Climate change has resulted in a whole other level of unpredictability… but that is a conversation for another time.
Mmmm, fruity!
“What kind of fruits grow there?”
As Australia has a wide range of climates, we can grow pretty much EVERYTHING here, with a certain degree of success. Most states have fruit growing regions, with tropical fruits in the North of them (where it is warmer) and stone fruit and temperate fruits in the South (where it is cooler or Mediterranean).
South Australia has the Riverland region which is famous for its exceptional tropical fruits and is heavily protected from the transmission of fruit fly with outside fruit being banned from being brought into the region. Yep, we are used to quarantine conditions in this country.
The main fruits cultivated in Australia are apples, banana, kiwifruit, oranges and other citrus, mangoes, mandarin, stonefruit, avocado, watermelons, rockmelons, lychees, pears, nectarines, plums, apricots, grapes, melons, papaya (also called pawpaw), pineapple, passionfruit and berries (strawberries, raspberries etc.) Phew. I told you we grow pretty much everything here.
Why is Adelaide the Butt of our Jokes
The actual question doesn’t require much more explanation. Adelaide, which is the capital of South Australia, cops a fair bit of heat from the other states and capital cities.
Quick geography lesson….
So Australia has 6 states and 2 territories. Each state and territory has a capital city, and the country also has an overall capital city, which is Canberra, located in the Australian Capital Territory (ACT). In the map on the left, you can see that our east coast has a majority of the capital cities and therefore the densest population. Brisbane, Sydney and Melbourne have their own eccentricities but they share one thing… always taking the piss out of Adelaide.
“Taking the piss” is Australian slang for making fun of, and these guys excel at it. Hobart and Perth (the capitals of Tasmania and Western Australia, respectively) are a little too far away to be considered worthy of as many jokes as Adelaide has to its credit. The fact it is quite close to the east coast (literally an hour flight to Melbourne) but so far away in terms of culture is probably part of it.
One of the ways that Adelaide is very culturally different is in terms of its politics. Despite being the first colony in Australia and only the fourth in the world where women gained the right to vote, and the Don Dunstan (there on the left in his famous pink shorts) era of socially progressive governance in the 1970s (with the decriminalisation of homosexuality, abolishing the death penalty, and recognising Aboriginal Land rights), Adelaide is known as the City of Churches for more reasons than one.
Yes, there is practically a church on every corner, but the Christian Right continues to have power over legislation in the state. Progression has stagnated over time, with Bills focussing on decriminalizing euthanasia and sex work gaining little support, although a Bill to decriminalise abortion was recently successful. South Australia is known as the nanny state for some of the toughest laws in the country.
Adelaide is one of the cheapest places in the country to live, and due to our lack of major tourist attractions compared to the East coast, it is not a very popular destination for tourists. We are not considered one of the cool, hip places for sure. However, our state has a metropolitan area that has 100kms of coastline, so you are never too far away from the beach, and we have some of the most amazing natural places to visit. Adelaide also has one of the smallest populations in the country, so we feel more like a country town than a city. We joke that there are 2 degrees of separation in Adelaide, compared to elsewhere.
Do you have a burning question about Australia? Then feel free to email me at remsequence@gmail.com and I will answer it for you!
Rem Sequence is an Australian adult content creator, blogger, and internationally published alt model. She has a background in psychology, philosophy and political science and worked in health and sex education, youth work and trauma counselling for almost two decades. Now, she works full time in the adult industry, as well as indulging her passion for arts, writing and music in numerous side projects.
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