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# Tag: sex work

## Know Your Enemy: Why OnlyFans Is Anti Sex Work

In the last month, we have seen some big changes with OnlyFans. Then retractions. Or suspensions. I am not sure what stage we are at with the evolution of this particular subscription based platform.

But I guarantee if you are reading this, you know exactly what I am talking about. Because OnlyFans has become one of the biggest platforms housing adult content and also recently made headlines with their flip-flopping, smoke and mirror games of recent times.

So, why did OnlyFans become so successful, when there are so many other platforms that sex workers and online content creators can join to sell the exact same content? Other platforms have fan club functions, pay to view content, messaging and live show options… so why did OnlyFans emerge to be one of the biggest and most successful platforms for adult content?

Here is my take on it…

Because it isn’t a porn site.

It isn’t a site that publicly proclaims to have adult content. It has never had to.

The Terms Of Service of OnlyFans was worded in such a way that left it open to interpretation on a number of fronts, including its acceptable use policy. And what is the great thing about wording things so broadly and open to interpretation?

It means OnlyFans could have porn on it. Potentially. More than likely, yes.

The Terms of Service never said “pornography is not allowed on here.” The content rules just said creators could not post content that could be regarded as “obscene.” Obscenity laws, which have the same type of shaky foundation, are pieces of legislation which are seen as extremely dangerous by those committed to freedom of speech. Because my obscene is different from your obscene, which is different again from what a legislature making decisions on our behalf deems is obscene.

Therefore, the terms of service on OnlyFans did not explicitly say “no porn”: but they didn’t say “yes porn” either. And this is good (in one way) because it created a loophole where users could upload sexually explicit content for sale, at a time when so many other mainstream platforms are imposing heavy censorship on users. This was also a good strategy for the people in charge of running the platform, because the promise of porn on a mainstream platform is enough to draw a ready and willing audience to it.

Let me draw your attention to the word “mainstream.” I have used it multiple times already, and that is for a very specific reason. Because this is absolutely at the crux of why I believe OnlyFans is so problematic for sex work as a whole.

> This is part of a global war on porn which is gripping the internet, the number one host of this content.

As I said, mainstream platforms such as Instagram and Twitter are getting more risk averse to what kinds of content they are allowing on their platforms. This is because of pressures from anti-porn groups masquerading as human trafficking and child protection advocates. This is part of a global war on porn which is gripping the internet, the number one host of this content.

The stigma that sex work and those in the adult industry already face has been amplified by the escalation of activities of these groups. Being a producer/star of porn, doing live sex shows, stripping and providing full service already comes with a big pile of baggage which can have multiple effects on a person’s life; from getting a “vanilla” job, accessing banking, contact with law enforcement, navigating health systems and maintaining housing. Not to mention the risk of physical harms coming from a wide range of people who have an issue with “hoes”.

Then comes along a “mainstream” site that EVERYONE knows hosts porn. The amount of times I have heard the site mentioned by “civilians” (people who don’t work in the industry) is astonishing; they would never dare to say they know about PornHub or that they know someone with content on a clipsite.

> A site which has grown due to hosting explicit content… has also grown due to the whorephobic nature of society as a whole.

I believe that OnlyFans has been embraced by the mainstream, who fundamentally hate sex workers because it is NOT a porn site.

Just think about that for a minute…

A site which has grown due to hosting explicit content has also grown due to the whorephobic nature of society as a whole.

Most of the adult performers I know have content on OnlyFans. And PornHub. And Clips4Sale and ManyVids just to name a few. And they have the same kind of content on all of these sites.

But it has become more acceptable to say “Subscribe to my OnlyFans” as opposed to “Watch my PornHub channel.” It is ok for bored housewives to snicker about putting some “cheeky nudes” on OnlyFans to make some extra cash, but professional performers continue to get hatemail, death threats and threatened to be doxxed (have their legal identities made public). Sex workers continue to be the butt of jokes, the murder victims in TV dramas and have their aesthestic stolen for monetary gain.

OnlyFans has ground my gears for many years because I have felt there is something fundamentally off about the whole thing. Check out my Instagram highlights for years worth of material collected. And it was only when they did their recent backflip that I realised what it was that was the real issue.

> Sex workers continue to be the butt of jokes, the murder victims in TV dramas and have their aesthetic stolen for monetary gain.

So how do we fix it? By realising, as sex workers, that OnlyFans is one of our enemies because it continues to stigmatise us whilst also profitting from us. If we take our business to a platform that openly acknowledges the work we do, and provides necessary protections for us and advocates on our behalf, this is a good start. And guess what? By putting the same amount of fervor into getting OnlyFans subscriptions into selling content on actual pornsite, we will all be rewarded.

And this is only the start. This is the ideological foundation that I have a problem with. Wait till I start talking about the building blocks of the site, how it works psychologically on creators and users, and money issues that then trickle down. Could get a bit scary, a bit fast.

Till next time…

Rem Sequence is an Australian adult content creator, blogger, and internationally published alt model. She has a background in psychology, philosophy and political science and worked in health and sex education, youth work and trauma counselling for almost two decades. Now, she works full time in the adult industry, as well as indulging her passion for arts, writing and music in numerous side projects.

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## What Sex Work Has Taught Me About Relationships

Making friends and influencing people the Rem Sequence way…

To be perfectly honest, when I came into sex work, I had had some pretty rough life experiences involving people. Being raised by sociopaths and having 2 long term relationships with abusive men will do that to you. Sex work has given me insight into the workings of people that, in the past, I took personally and never really understood. I don’t just mean as a woman relating to men, but with people in general. I have learned things about people and how we relate to eachother in a sexual context that I knew on a theoretical level, but these concepts have finally sunk in. Here are 5 very useful things I have learnt about relationships from doing sex work…

#### Boundaries are important and negotiating them is a fine art

When you are a sex worker, you need to have firm boundaries. You have to know what you are willing to do and what you are not and not waver on this. There are a lot of factors in play though; you want to keep clients or develop trust with them, you want to make money, you want to remain safe. People will put pressure on you to change those boundaries if changing them will suit them better. But as with all relationships, sticking to your boundaries will help you in the long run, despite it being uncomfortable in the short term. For example, I will not respond to unsolicited messages without a cash tribute first. Some requesters do not respond to this well, but in the long term it saves me time talking to people who have no interest in spending money.

#### When people are hurt or embarassed, they will say stupid things

Following on from my point above, when you enforce your boundaries, some people don’t take this so well. Generally that is because they are hurt or embarassed by being rejected or being told no; they haven’t developed enough insight to accept responsibility for this so will lash out instead. With some people, it doesn’t matter how polite you are in saying no, they will be so hurt they will say stupid things like “you are ugly anyway.” Cool story, bro. But your response is illogical. In my opinion, it doesn’t matter who someone is, I don’t waste my time hand-holding people through their emotions. Unless they are paying me, that is…

#### People come and go… and come again; that is ok

Coming from a background of trauma and abuse, I am the first to admit that I have issues with abandonment. Sex work had taught me that people can come on very hot and heavy… but then be gone in the next 5 minutes. Maybe you will have radio silence for 5 months and then… BAM. They are back again, just as hot and heavy. This is not anything about me personally, but is about where people are at in their own lives. It helps me now to have no expectations about people. The fact is that people will say all kinds of things, and it doesn’t mean they are true or that they will happen. I trust actions, combined with patterns, above all else.

#### We all have preferences; you don’t know what they are till you try

Lots of people are locked into certain patterns of behaviour because they are comfortable and known. Thinking about other ways of being is foreign and a bit scary. But, it doesn’t mean those other ways of being might actually be your preference. In this instance, I am talking about domination and submission. Some people have never role played these positions so have never experienced them. Many people tell me, well, I am a dominant. Are you really? Or is opposite a bit scary? If you could explore this with someone you could trust, would you?

#### Societal norms about relationships are social constructions

You know how we think monogamy is a natural state for humans? And how we put so much emphasis on finding that one person to complete us? None of this natural. It is also how we have been conditioned since very young to view our intimate relationships. I believe it is used to maintain control of citizens as opposed to anything natural (more on this another time…). Sex work has shown me how relationships can be constructed differently, given open communication and opportunity to try different things. Love and sex are not the same things and are mutually exclusive. Society says otherwise which is extremely limiting for people who subscribe to this belief. It stops people being honest with themselves and eachother, which overall is unhealthy and unnecessary.

Sex work is many things, but I never expected it to change so many of my beliefs and assumptions. Intrigued to learn more? Then come over and say hi…